Lillee Jean: 5 Things We Can Each Do To Make Social Media And The Internet A Kinder And More Tolerant Place
Social media needs to be monitored better. People are creating hundreds of accounts, with the sole purpose to hurt someone else. They feel that freedom of speech exists in this forum, but they don’t realize while we are entitled to freedom of speech, we are not entitled to harass, cyber stalk, and hurt someone’s career. You cannot argue with these people they are always right. If you can find them in real life, I would bet anything they are different from what you envision online. It is a release for them. There is a thin line between freedom of speech and downright harassment and stalking and bullying.
As a part of my interview series about the things we can each do to make social media and the internet a kinder and more tolerant place, I had the pleasure to interview Lillee Jean.
Lillee Jean is a well-known American YouTuber and digital Instagram celebrity who brings makeup tutorials, lifestyle, and beauty blogging to the internet. She is an accomplished actress, model, writer, producer, director, entrepreneur, influencer, and vlogger. Lillee Jean was born in New York and resides in the borough of Queens. Her content is relatable and often touches on current event topics such as the current pandemic that is globally happening, as well as climate change. She is an advocate for laws to change online bullying, something she has had to deal with herself, in her career. In 2020 she created a live web series, which she airs on her verified Instagram channel, called “Lillee Jean TALKS! Live”. It is also on her YouTube channel, as well as on her website, and is IMDB approved.
Thank you so much for doing this with us! Our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you share your “backstory” with us?
I started out when I was 9, on the internet doing stop-motion videos with my American Girl dolls. From there, I branched out into the beauty industry, and I have never stopped going since. Entertaining is in my blood!
Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you started your career?
The most interesting thing I have watched develop is the advocacy for stronger laws for women’s rights. I am in an industry that is fraught with people overstepping the line, so I am pleased to see people talking up against injustices that have happened to them, and seeing them able to find some justice and equitable change occur.
Can you share a story about the funniest mistake you made when you were first starting? Can you tell us what lesson you learned from that?
Probably starting, it would be picking out the right foundation when I was starting to do makeup tutorials. In the beginning, I didn’t realize lighting can be your friend or your enemy. In my case in the first few videos I did, I had a line that was clear between my ears and neck and face, due to the lighting looking different, and highlighting an imperfection. I have obviously since realized my mistakes and corrected them, 6 years later.
Are you working on any exciting new projects now? How do you think that will help people?
I am actually, but it is not something, at this time I can share. Suffice to say, it will involve a new show coming out, but that is about much of the details as I can share at this point.
Ok, thank you for that. Let’s now jump to the main focus of our interview. Have you ever been publicly shamed or embarrassed on social media? Can you share with our readers what that experience felt like?
Unfortunately yes, and it is still going on. I have an ongoing issue with a small group of women, who formed a “cyber mob”, to in their own words “crusade to take me down”, all because they are jealous of what I do for a living. It started when I was 15, but got hyped up in 2019. They have tried to humiliate me daily, which they can’t do since I refuse to allow anyone to get into my headspace. They have attempted to sabotage my career, they have doxxed and swatted my family. I am currently legally pursuing options to find and bring these people to justice.
What did you do to shake off that negative feeling?
Recenter me. Sure, these things can get to me sometimes, it is like being waterboarded daily. I believe that I am strong enough to sustain this behavior, and in the end, justice will right the wrong that is being done to me.
Have you ever posted a comment on social media that you regretted because you felt it was too harsh or mean?
No, I haven’t. I carefully measure out what I say. I know who I am and that is what is so important. I do think the people doing this to me, will one day regret what they’ve said and done online. It is embarrassing for their families.
Can you describe the evolution of your decisions? Why did you initially write the comment, and why did you eventually regret it?
There is no evolution for me on this topic. I simply refuse to allow anyone to aggravate me nor deter me from the path that I have chosen.
When one reads the comments on Youtube or Instagram, or the trending topics on Twitter, a great percentage of them are critical, harsh, and hurtful. The people writing the comments may feel like they are simply tapping buttons on a keyboard, but to the one on the receiving end of the comment, it is very different. This may be intuitive, but I feel that it will be instructive to spell it out. Can you help illustrate to our readers what the recipient of a public online critique might be feeling?
Since I daily have to deal with this, I can certainly tell you. It is a feeling of loss, and great sadness, that people think they can be anonymous and hurt you. They don’t just do it with words nowadays, they also do it with actions, and that is the saddest part of all.
Do you think a verbal online attacks feels worse or less than a verbal argument in “real life”? How are the two different?
I think that it most certainly does feel worse when it is online. When you don’t know who the person is making accusations at you, it can feel like your world is out of control. At least if you can confront your attacker, you can deal with the issue at hand a lot better.
What long term effects can happen to someone who was shamed online?
I have PTSD from the swatting. I have mental fear from the online trolls attempting to harm me. I have a real fear when I walk out of my house since they doxxed me, and my family, as well as threatened me with physical assault.
Many people who troll others online, or who leave harsh comments, can likely be kind and sweet people in “real life”. These people would likely never publicly shout at someone in a room filled with 100 people. Yet, on social media, when you embarrass someone, you are doing it in front of thousands of even millions of people, and it is out there forever. Can you give 3 or 4 reasons why social media tends to bring out the worst in people; why people are meaner online than they are in person?
Social media needs to be monitored better. People are creating hundreds of accounts, with the sole purpose to hurt someone else. They feel that freedom of speech exists in this forum, but they don’t realize while we are entitled to freedom of speech, we are not entitled to harass, cyber stalk, and hurt someone’s career. You cannot argue with these people they are always right. If you can find them in real life, I would bet anything they are different from what you envision online. It is a release for them. There is a thin line between freedom of speech and downright harassment and stalking and bullying.
If you had the power to influence thousands of people about how to best comment and interact online, what would you suggest to them? What are your “5 things we should each do to help make social media and the internet, a kinder and more tolerant place”? Can you give a story or an example for each?
I would tell people to think before they write. Think about what their comment will make that person feel, that has to read it. Think about how they would feel if someone wrote the same thing about them. Think about it before you dox someone or call in a fake police tip. I honestly feel that while social media has built my career, and it has been good to me, there is unfortunately a lot of bad things to it too. I honestly believe that social media platforms have seduced what might be normal people, into a fake world, where they become someone else. Platforms need to become more responsible, as people have taken over these platforms, and are running amuck without any consequences to their actions.
Freedom of speech prohibits censorship in the public square. Do you think that applies to social media? Do American citizens have a right to say whatever they want within the confines of a social media platform owned by a private enterprise?
While someone has the right to say whatever they want, and we are entitled to freedom of speech, we are not entitled to hurting someone, and stalking someone. There is a definitive fine line between having freedom of speech and daily harassing someone and making their life miserable.
If you had full control over Facebook or Twitter, which specific changes would you make to limit harmful or hurtful attacks?
I would have a better reporting system. The AI on these sites cannot be trusted. While I realize it would require hiring people, thus a cost to the platforms, things have become completely out of hand, and rules must be put into play.
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?
If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say it. If it is something you have to think about twice, then you shouldn’t be participating in it.
We are blessed that some of the biggest names in Business, VC funding, Sports, and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US with whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? He or she might just see this if we tag them 🙂
I would love to speak to the President of the United States. He has a big task at hand, unifying all of us, and attempting to put rules in place to protect the planet. I would love to hear his views and lend my hand to the cause.
How can our readers follow you on social media?
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lilleejean/
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGQF-GZ2oWfgb1NN3QtJJlA (Lillee Jean)
Websites: https://www.lilleejean.com and https://www.lilleejeanbeauty.com
Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/REALlilleejean/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/RealLilleeJean
Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/LilleeJean
Digital Art: https://www.deviantart.com/lilleejean
Giphy: https://giphy.com/lilleejean
Tenor: https://tenor.com/official/lilleejean
IMDB: https://www.imdb.com/name/nm10479689/
Thank you so much for these insights! This was so inspiring!
Lillee Jean: 5 Things We Can Each Do To Make Social Media And The Internet A Kinder And More… was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.