Social Impact Authors: How & Why Author Deepa Purushothaman Is Helping To Change Our World

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Decide. Make a decision. Don’t waver: When I first made Partner I was afforded a really unique opportunity to sit down with the Chairman of the Board at one of my clients. I used the dinner to understand what he had learned on his path and his advice for me. He shared a ton but his most important piece of advice was to not be afraid to make a decision. He said good leaders weigh options but at some point they decide. They decide the best they can and then push the ball forward. What I have learned since that dinner with him is that great leaders also know when to be transparent. Good leaders decide and great leaders decide and if it wasn’t the best choice with hindsight, they admit it transparently and pivot.

As part of my series about “authors who are making an important social impact”, I had the pleasure of interviewing Deepa Purushothaman.

Deepa is a former senior executive and a corporate inclusion visionary. She challenges and redefines the status quo of leadership, success, and power by centering the experiences of Women of Color.

Deepa was a senior partner at Deloitte. In 2020, Deepa left to co-found nFormation, a membership-based community for professional Women of Color and write her debut book, The First, The Few, The Only: How Women of Color Can Redefine Power in Corporate America.

Thank you so much for joining us in this interview series! Before we dive into the main focus of our interview, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your childhood backstory?

I grew up in a very white farm country town in New Jersey. I was one of only 4 students of color at school. My parents immigrated to this country in the late 60s from India.

There was always a sense I didn’t belong or fit in. I struggled with identity and some of the first generation challenges I know others face. At the time, I didn’t have a name for it. I just knew the language we spoke at home, the food we ate, the holidays we celebrated, everything was different. I often wondered what was wrong with me versus understanding my ethnicity and background made me different.

That sense of not belonging ran deep. It is part of why I do the work I do now. Concepts of identity, conforming, what is acceptable, and who defines what is acceptable are at the core of my work.

When you were younger, was there a book that you read that inspired you to take action or changed your life? Can you share a story about that?

I can’t say there is a book. As an author now it is horrible to say this but I am not sure I liked to read. But I used to watch a lot of TV shows with female characters. There weren’t a lot back then but I watched them all in an attempt to see that I could be anything I wanted to be.

It has been said that our mistakes can be our greatest teachers. Can you share a story about the funniest mistake you made when you were first starting? Can you tell us what lesson you learned from that?

I remember when I first was asked to speak on a big stage. The request came from my CEO. I was excited and also nervous since he sent me an email making the ask.

I shared the email with a friend asking what I should say because I wanted to do it but I was so scared of messing up. What I didn’t see was that I actually sent the note to my CEO, not my friend. The great part of the story is that it caused a barrier to come down between us. He felt I was so vulnerable that he made time to have a meal with me after the stage presentation. That mistake opened a lot of doors for me.

Can you describe how you aim to make a significant social impact with your book?

Many women of color I’ve met have scars from climbing the corporate ladder. We often question our reality. “Did that really just happen?” This book is about helping WOC not feel alone.

I hope this book will validate their struggles, that they will feel seen and heard, and encouraged to be bold and unapologetic in claiming their path.

Can you share with us the most interesting story that you shared in your book?

The book and my work stemmed out of a comment a public company CFO shared with me. She said, I sit in a seat of power and I don’t feel powerful. I was startled and yet it felt so familiar. I wanted to study it and understand it and I heard this over and over again from the women I interviewed. Most of the women I interviewed believed erroneously that, once they were a leader in their organizations, they could be more of themselves. But once they reached the top, they were more invested in the company, and it was even harder to speak up, stand out, and be different. One woman I interviewed shared, “They promote you, but ultimately, what they want is a skirt- wearing dark- skinned white leader with an accent. We have to let go of the fairy tale of “one day” and realize that no matter what stage we are at in our careers, each action to conform is actually a decision we make, even if it might not feel like it in the moment.”

What was the “aha moment” or series of events that made you decide to bring your message to the greater world? Can you share a story about that?

Being a “first” allowed me to experience first-hand the disillusionment and limits of the dream we’re sold. The dream of arriving at the highest levels of power and feeling fulfilled. I was on the conform, perform, produce hamster wheel.

When I realized that I had become sick, exhausted and disempowered in the process of earning a seat at the table, I began to question everything.

Without sharing specific names, can you tell us a story about a particular individual who was impacted or helped by your cause?

When I first made partner, my biggest sponsor said to me, “remember, never need a client more than you want a client.” That advice has always stayed with me. It is about remembering to put your values first.

Are there three things the community/society/politicians can do to help you address the root of the problem you are trying to solve?

We have to start by recognizing that it’s not just an individual issue, or one that can be addressed by working harder, or being more assertive. The workplace isn’t immune to systemic racism, and if we’re going to address it there, we’ll have to do it by creating new processes and standards for recruiting, advancing and retaining, as well as reporting discrimination and cultivating a culture of psychological safety. We have to create the conditions for all women to thrive.

We also need to expand our definitions of leadership to allow for more types of leadership to be valued and promoted. If you want to support women of color you have to let us lead in our own ways.

How do you define “Leadership”? Can you explain what you mean or give an example?

We have to start looking outside of the usual suspects for leadership, and engage the question in a more personal way. We all have phenomenal models of leadership in our life, even if that leadership didn’t come with an executive title or advanced degree. Maybe it’s a grandmother who taught you the value of caring and listening, or a teacher who was service-oriented and passionate about history, or your own courage in overcoming a tremendous moment of adversity.

Once we can acknowledge and seek out leadership outside of the conventional ways we’ve been taught to recognize it, we can start to feel more resourced and inspired in embodying our own leadership qualities and potential.

What are your “5 things I wish someone told me when I first started” and why. Please share a story or example for each.

Decide. Make a decision. Don’t waver: When I first made Partner I was afforded a really unique opportunity to sit down with the Chairman of the Board at one of my clients. I used the dinner to understand what he had learned on his path and his advice for me. He shared a ton but his most important piece of advice was to not be afraid to make a decision. He said good leaders weigh options but at some point they decide. They decide the best they can and then push the ball forward. What I have learned since that dinner with him is that great leaders also know when to be transparent. Good leaders decide and great leaders decide and if it wasn’t the best choice with hindsight, they admit it transparently and pivot.

Don’t cross that line. But know your line: I tended to work on big ugly projects and I tended to be known for being able to calm difficult personalities. I was working with a client and this was the 3rd project I had managed for him. The project was tough and the politics intense. And one day after a bad meeting he picked up the phone and threw it across the room. It was just me and him and I calmly got up and started walking. He started calling to check on me 20 mins later. I didn’t pick up and I continued to not pick. After 45 mins I walked back inside and said, “You crossed the line and I don’t want to work with you anymore,” and handed him my badge not knowing what all the ramifications might be. He came running after me apologizing. After much discussion, many escalations and many interventions by others I met him 1 and 1 and told him he had one last chance but if anything like that ever happened again I would quit. It never happened again and he respected me even more. Sometimes you have to know your limit even if it may cost you in the short term.

It’s Lonely at the Top: When the CHRO at one of my clients first started in his role I offered to take him to lunch. It seemed like a normal thing to do. He was new at the client and I had been there for over a year. As we were sitting at lunch he said to me, “You know you are the only person — -vendor or peer who has asked me to lunch. I have been eating by myself every day this week.” He went on to say, “it’s lonely when people are too afraid to stop by.” Remember that leaders are people too.

Voice at the Table: At a recent event one of the coaches I work with shared with the group ”the women who came before you were the first. You, in the room, may not be the first to sit at the table or the first to get the title. You will not be the firsts. But you will be the first generation to change how women work. How we all work. You will change it for you and for those who come after you.” It was really powerful. It is important to not only have a seat but a voice at the table. It is what I teach others and it was powerful to have someone remind me of that recently.

Trust Your Gut: Facts are important but I rely on my gut a lot. In hindsight, the times things have not worked out as I really wanted or times that have ended really badly were times I ignored my gut or that nagging feeling I had and did something because I thought I should. Leading is just about facts or reason, intuitive wisdom is important in leadership too.

Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?

Be the change you want to see in the world.

Is there a person in the world, or in the US with whom you would like to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? He or she might just see this, especially if we tag them. 🙂

Oprah, just because she has always been a shining example of a WOC (Black) leader who is changing the game.

How can our readers further follow your work online?

www.deepapuru.com

Or subscribe to my LI Newsletter: The First, The Few, The Only

This was very meaningful, thank you so much. We wish you only continued success on your great work!


Social Impact Authors: How & Why Author Deepa Purushothaman Is Helping To Change Our World was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.