I don’t think anyone is incapable of having love in their life. It’s that dreaded phrase: “Find love” that messes everyone up. You receive love, you don’t go find it. If you have the mentality that you have to hunt for love, you’re going to naturally feel defeated or like you’re always one step behind. It’s just too much pressure.
In today’s fast-paced and interconnected world, finding and maintaining meaningful romantic relationships can be a daunting task. From navigating dating apps to managing expectations in a digital age, there are numerous challenges individuals face in their quest for love. Through this series, we would like to explore the complexities of modern dating and relationships, offering insights, advice, and strategies for navigating the often confusing landscape of love in the 21st century. In this series, we are talking to experts in psychology, relationship coaching, sociology, matchmaking, and individuals with personal experiences navigating the modern dating scene, to share their knowledge, perspectives, and stories. As part of this series, we had the pleasure of interviewing April Beyer. April Beyer is a Relationship and Relatability Expert, 25 year veteran Matchmaker, and the CEO & Founder of LEVEL Connections, a first-of-its-kind matchmaking platform making professional matchmaking more accessible for serious singles and more scalable for the matchmakers who serve them.
Thank you so much for joining us! Can you tell us your “Origin Story”? Can you tell us the story of how you grew up?
I was born and raised in Southern California as the youngest of four, with three older brothers. Growing up surrounded by boys meant I learned early how to hold my own, speak up and understand men in a way that would later become invaluable in my work.
My parents raised us to use our voices and gave us a foundation of confidence that shaped everything I’ve become. They encouraged questions, debate, and curiosity. They told me to take risks and to never settle for anything that didn’t make me happy. So naturally, I became that “why” girl who couldn’t stop asking about how relationships worked — why some people connected instantly, while others didn’t, or why certain couples seemed to just get each other. Like my parents, who have been amazing role models.
That childhood curiosity about human behavior eventually found its purpose in the work I do as a matchmaker.
Can you tell us a bit about what you do professionally, and what brought you to this specific career path?
I like to say matchmaking found me, not the other way around. In the late 90s, I started working at a matchmaking agency in Los Angeles, and I was hooked immediately. It fit my personality perfectly — my drive to problem-solve, my desire to make a real impact, and my insatiable curiosity about what makes relationships work. Today, I’m the Founder and CEO of LEVEL Connections, a matchmaking and relationship consulting firm.
These days, I’ve also taken everything I’ve learned about connection into the corporate world through keynote speaking, where I teach leaders and teams relatability and how to build genuine trust and communication that leads to lasting relationships. Turns out, the skills that create great relationships also create great teams.
You are a successful leader. Which three character traits do you think were most instrumental to your success? Can you please share a story or example for each?
I love that you ask this question! I believe so strongly in understanding character traits that I ask this exact question in my client onboarding at LEVEL. It’s one of the most revealing ways to understand what someone truly values and how they show up in relationships and in life.
Relentless Curiosity
I’ve never been satisfied with surface-level answers. Early in my career, I had a smart, successful coaching client who kept saying she didn’t want someone “successful and ambitious.” She chose men who didn’t match her drive and passion, and her connections were fleeting. Instead of accepting her criteria, I kept digging. Turns out, what she really craved was someone present. Her father had been a workaholic, and “successful” had become code for “emotionally unavailable.” That curiosity, the refusal to accept the obvious, has been the foundation of every breakthrough I’ve had.
Radical Honesty
I learned early on that being liked isn’t the same as being helpful. I once had a client sabotaging every relationship with unrealistic expectations. I matched him with an incredible woman who didn’t fit his wish list. Although he had a great first date, he found fault and was reluctant to see her again. I could have moved on with another match, but instead I said, “You’re the problem here, and until you’re willing to look at that, I can’t help you.” He was angry at first. But the next day, he called with apologies and set his second date. They have been married for twenty years with three beautiful children. Sometimes the kindest thing you can do is tell someone the truth they need to hear.
Pattern Recognition
I can sit with someone for an hour and see patterns they don’t see in themselves. The type of person they’re drawn to, the behaviors they repeat, the blind spots that keep them stuck. This skill has been instrumental not just in making matches but in building my business. I saw patterns in how matchmakers were struggling, which led to the creation LEVEL. Pattern recognition is like having a map when everyone else is guessing directions.
Are you working on any exciting new projects now? How do you think that will help people?
Yes! I recently launched LEVEL as a SaaS platform for the matchmaking industry. I have always evolved my own work through technology and have been working on this for quite some time. It’s been incredible to watch it grow.
For years, I watched talented matchmakers struggle to grow their businesses without losing the personal touch. Collaborations have become the lifeline for many agencies, but I saw a smarter, faster, and more effective way to work with one another. So I created LEVEL — the first platform built by a veteran matchmaker that merges technology with human intuition. It’s a complete client management, matching, and collaboration system.
What makes me most excited is how it’s changing the game for both matchmakers and singles. Traditionally, singles had to fill out endless profiles for many matchmaking agencies and hope a matchmaker would call them back. With LEVEL, singles enter a vetted community where matchmakers across our network can find them. For matchmakers, they’re no longer limited to just their own client roster. They can collaborate and find matches they never could have made alone. We’re quickly becoming known for the go-to platform for emerging matchmakers which is really exciting!
We’re not just helping people find love faster. We’re building a community where the best matchmakers can work together and actually scale their impact without sacrificing quality.
For the benefit of our readers, can you briefly tell our readers why you are an authority on the topic of dating and finding love?
Here’s the thing: I’ve had a front-row seat to hundreds of love stories over 25 years. I’ve seen first dates that made my heart sing and others that made me want to hide under the table. I’ve watched people self-sabotage in the most creative ways, and I’ve witnessed the exact moment someone realizes they’ve met their person.
I’ve personally introduced dozens of couples who are now married, and here’s the stat that still blows my mind: only a 1% divorce rate. When you see that kind of lasting success over and over, you start to understand what actually works versus what we think should work.
My authority doesn’t come from a textbook. It comes from being in the room for countless vulnerable conversations, seeing patterns that repeat across decades, and having the privilege of watching people transform when they finally understand themselves. I’ve made plenty of mistakes along the way — matches I thought were perfect that fizzled, and unlikely pairings that turned into the greatest love stories.
I’ve shared insights on Dr. Phil, Good Morning America, ABC 20/20, and more, but my real education has been sitting across from real people with real heartbreak and real hope. That’s where you learn what love actually needs to survive.
Based on your experience, what is a common root cause of the “inability to find love”?
I don’t think anyone is incapable of having love in their life. It’s that dreaded phrase: “Find love” that messes everyone up. You receive love, you don’t go find it. If you have the mentality that you have to hunt for love, you’re going to naturally feel defeated or like you’re always one step behind. It’s just too much pressure.
And dating apps have made this so much worse. They’ve given everyone a false sense of abundance — like there are infinite perfect people just a swipe away. Before dating apps, you met someone, felt a connection, and gave it a real shot. Now? Everyone’s got one foot out the door because they think someone better is waiting in their queue. The paradox of choice has paralyzed people.
But here’s the deeper issue: most people don’t actually know themselves well enough to know what they need. They know what they want, but often have no clue what will actually make them happy on a Tuesday night when someone’s had a bad day, lost a promotion, is dealing with an aging parent, and the dishwasher is broken.
I can’t tell you how many times someone has told me their “type,” and I’ve watched them be miserable with that exact type over and over again. I have a sign on my office wall that says, “How’s that working out for you?”
The real root cause? A lack of self-awareness combined with dating apps that have convinced everyone there’s always someone better. Until you understand your part in the pattern, you’ll just keep recreating it with different faces.
What are some common misconceptions or myths about finding love in the modern world, and how can they be debunked?
First, take back your power. Stop playing by “modern dating” rules that leave you feeling exhausted. Yes, the way we date is different than it was twenty years ago with the advent of technology, but the same principles apply today when it comes to creating connection and chemistry. Be human. Be real. Be curious.
What advice do you have for individuals who feel overwhelmed or disillusioned by the challenges of modern dating, and how can they maintain hope and optimism in their search for love?
Here’s my radical advice: ditch the apps. Get out in the actual world. Start saying hello to people. Make eye contact. Smile. Real-world connections feel completely different.
And here’s something counterintuitive: stop looking for “the one” so intensely. When you’re hyper-focused on finding your person, you ironically meet no one. Instead, shift your energy to simply enjoying connections and meeting new friends. Take the pressure off. You’ll look and feel much more attractive when you take your eye off the target.
I always tell my clients: linger longer and say yes to more dates. Stop being so quick to disqualify someone. That instant “no” you think is saving you time? It’s actually adding years to being single.
One more thing: loneliness shouldn’t be the driver for finding love. When you’re searching from a place of desperation, you’ll overlook red flags and potentially end up with the wrong partner. Haste makes waste.
Start with these, and I promise you’ll feel more hopeful and way less overwhelmed.
Let’s explore how the rise of social media and dating apps has impacted the way individuals approach and experience dating and relationships. Can you share a few dos and don’ts about how to use social media to find love?
Social media and dating apps have turned dating into a shopping experience where people are scrolling through humans like they’re browsing Amazon. It’s a curated world that only shows you what people want you to see.
DO: Be real. Use recent photos that actually look like you. You want someone to fall for the actual you, not a filtered fantasy. Show your values in your social media posts through images that express what you love to do, where you like to spend your time and the people who matter most, not just what you look like on a Saturday night with your friends.
DON’T: Let it consume your life. Set boundaries. Maybe 20 minutes a day, max. Otherwise, you’re feeding an addiction to validation, not looking for love.
DO: Use it as a tool, not the only tool. Apps can be one way to meet people, but there are other options. Yes, people are still walking in the park with their dogs, shopping at the grocery stores, and sitting at your local coffee shop.
DON’T: Judge a book by its profile. Someone might be terrible at writing about themselves but amazing in person. Give people a chance.
DO: Get off the app quickly. If you’re vibing with someone, meet soon. Don’t spend weeks building up a fantasy relationship in your head.
The bottom line? If apps are making you feel worse about yourself or turning dating into a soul-crushing chore, take a break. Your future partner is not going to disappear because you took a month off from swiping.
Can you share a few dos and don’ts about looking for romance in real-life physical spaces like congregations, bars, markets, and conventions?
Yes! This is where the magic actually happens. Real life is where you get to use all your senses: body language, energy, that indefinable spark you can’t capture in a profile picture.
DO: Be approachable. Put your phone away. Make eye contact. Smile.
DON’T: Have a hidden agenda. If you go to a cooking class solely to meet someone, it shows. Go because you actually want to learn to cook, and if you happen to meet someone amazing, that’s a bonus.
DO: Talk to everyone, not just people you’re attracted to. Building genuine connections with all kinds of people makes you more magnetic. Plus, you never know who knows someone perfect for you.
DO: Linger longer. Stay for the coffee after the service. Hang out after the meetup ends. The best connections often happen in those in-between moments.
DON’T: Give up after one attempt. Become a regular somewhere. Let people get to know you over time. The bartender, barista, congregation leader, or manager. Don’t wait to be invited into a community, build one!
What are your thoughts about the challenges and opportunities that come with workplace romances?
Look, it’s completely normal to develop attraction at work — you’re spending tons of time with people, collaborating, seeing them at their best. But I strongly advise against it. When workplace romances go south, and they often do, things get messy fast. You can’t escape your ex when they’re three desks away or on every Zoom call.
The bigger issue? If you’re seeking a deep romantic connection at work, it could be a sign your life is out of balance. You need to create space and energy for relationships outside the office.
If you meet someone wonderful at work and it’s ok with HR, awesome. You’re one of the lucky ones!
Can you discuss the role of vulnerability and authenticity in forming meaningful connections and finding lasting love?
Relatability requires courage. What are you willing to share? What are you willing to ask?
Here’s the thing: most people think vulnerability means dumping all your emotional baggage or oversharing every detail of your past relationships with a perfect stranger on date one. That’s not vulnerability, that’s just poor boundaries.
Real vulnerability is transparency in its highest form, while also paying attention to how someone is receiving your information. We connect through the emotions of our stories, not the stories themselves. Share something that makes you laugh until you cry. Tell a favorite childhood story about your father or mother that still makes you smile. Tell someone you think they’re awesome. All of that is vulnerability and authenticity.
Based on your experience or research, what are the “Five Things You Need To Navigate Our Complicated Modern World To Find Love”?
1. Become Relatable
Relatability isn’t about being similar or agreeable. It’s your ability to create an emotional connection. It’s the determining factor of why dates succeed or fail. We all want to be near the people who make us feel like we’re home.
2. Ask Better Questions
Connection isn’t built through facts; it’s built through curiosity. Ask thoughtful, emotionally curious questions about how someone thinks, feels, and experiences the world. That’s where intimacy happens.
3. Focus on Values, Not Criteria
Most people pile on requirements, thinking specificity will help them find “the one.” In reality, the more narrow you become, the fewer opportunities you give yourself to connect. Values matter. Everything else is negotiable.
4. Consider a Matchmaker
Dating apps have become overwhelming and filled with fake profiles and bots. Matchmaking changes that. Most of my clients meet their partner after fewer than eight introductions. Quality over endless quantity.
5. Don’t Look for Your Reflection
Your future partner shouldn’t be a mirror image of you. Embrace differences without sacrificing values. Relationships are our best teachers, and compatibility is often found in how well two people balance each other, not how alike they are.
Do you have any favorite books, podcasts, or resources related to this topic that you would recommend to our readers?
I’ve done quite a few interviews with Second Act TV, which is always filled with great dating and relationship advice for people over 40 and beyond.
I’m a big fan of Maria Shriver’s Sunday Paper and the podcast Diary of a CEO. Both offer incredible insights into life and connection.
Some of my favorite recommendations aren’t specifically dating books, but they offer a perspective that’s incredibly helpful for all relationships. Start with Why by Simon Sinek helps you understand your own motivations. The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins is about releasing control. And Atomic Habits by James Clear teaches you how small changes create massive transformation.
When you work on becoming a better, more self-aware human, you naturally become better at dating and relationships.
You are a person of great influence. If you could start a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be?
Well, I’m doing it as we speak! Creating a movement to modernize and democratize matchmaking, making high-quality, human-led connections more accessible to everyone.
The matchmaking industry is filled with incredible talent, but it’s historically been fragmented and under-supported by technology. My goal is to elevate the entire profession by giving matchmakers better tools, shared networks, and smarter infrastructure so they can do what they do best: create meaningful connections.
At the same time, I want to help singles move away from the exhausting cycle of superficial swiping and toward values-based connections. When matchmaking evolves, people date smarter, feel less alone in the process, and build relationships that actually last.
If we can shift how people approach finding love, from transactional to relational, from surface-level to emotionally intelligent, we don’t just change individual lives. We change families, futures, communities, and ultimately, how we all connect. That’s a movement worth building.
How can our readers further follow your work online?
Singles and matchmakers can sign up on our website here: https://levelconnections.com/. To learn more about me and my relatability work, visit aprilbeyer.com.
You can also find LEVEL Connections on social media here:
https://www.instagram.com/levelconnections/
And follow me personally on:
https://www.instagram.com/april__beyer/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/aprilbeyer/
April Beyer of LEVEL Connections On How To Navigate Our Complicated Modern World To Find Love was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.