First, persistence. Persistence, persistence, persistence.
Second, you need to write. Write like a crazy person all the time.
Third, you have to trust yourself. Everyone gets an imposter complex, but don’t have self-doubt. You started because you thought you could.
Fourth, never sell yourself short. If someone says you can work their club for free if you bring in ten people, don’t do it. You are worthy and deserve to be paid in money. If you’re going to promote a name, promote your own.
Fifth, take care of yourself. If you feel crazy, take a break. Put your pen down, sit quietly, and be nice to yourself. And never tell anyone to “eff off.” That’s part of self-care. Call them a “big silly goose” instead; it’s much more effective and makes them think for years.
I had the pleasure of talking with Stephanie Hodge, the veteran actress and stand-up comic who has been a fixture on our television screens since the days of white-picket-fence sitcoms. Meeting her feels a bit like catching up with a favorite aunt who has seen everything and isn’t afraid to tell you exactly where the bodies are buried, usually with a self-deprecating punchline attached. She is currently riding a new wave of momentum with a role in the third season of HBO’s The Comeback and a central part in the experimental chaos of Jury Duty: Corporate Retreat.
Hodge grew up in Wilmington, Ohio, a small town where her father was a college professor and her mother was a principal. It sounds like a scene out of a classic Americana movie. “It was a very nice childhood,” she recalls. “We first lived in a little tiny house in a sweet neighborhood with kids all over the place, and then we moved to a big house on a bigger street. They built a McDonald’s across the street from us, so I was the most popular kid in the world.”
The stage found her early. At just three years old, she was playing an orphan in a production of Teahouse of the August Moon at the local Quaker fine arts college. By age ten, she was playing one of the three wise men in a church play. When she complained about not being cast as Mary, her father told her it was “very Shakespearean” for a woman to play a man. That bit of fatherly wisdom stuck, sparking a lifelong interest in the craft that took her through theater programs in Ohio and eventually to the comedy clubs of Minneapolis and Los Angeles.
Her entry into the world of stand-up wasn’t born out of a dream, but rather a dare. In 1980, Hodge was a part-owner of a comedy club in Minneapolis, surrounded by men who weren’t exactly rolling out the red carpet for women. “I really had a terrible opinion of standup comics,” she admits. “I didn’t like them. I didn’t trust them. I thought they were all a bunch of chumps.” A girlfriend bet her fifty dollars that she didn’t have the nerve to get on stage. Hodge took the bet, wrote out a five-minute set like an actor playing a part, and “killed the first time.”
The victory was short-lived. The next hundred sets were a “bomb like a terrible old ship,” but the initial spark was enough to keep her going. When the traditional clubs felt too much like a boys’ club, Hodge found a different doorway through the LGBTQIA+ community. “I went to a gay club,” she says. “They built a little stage for me. I ended up doing standup at First Avenue, Prince’s club, for the male strip shows. I had the best hair, makeup, and wardrobe of anybody.”
Hodge eventually became a household name in the nineties, starring in hits like Nurses and Unhappily Ever After. But for a certain breed of television fan, her recent work is even more legendary. Joining the cast of The Comeback was a “bucket list” moment for her. Working alongside Lisa Kudrow and director Michael Patrick King was a career high. “I literally had to sit down and be quiet for 10 minutes because I could not believe it,” she says. “I’m getting to my bucket list and I’m not dead yet!”
Her role in Jury Duty: Corporate Retreat was a different kind of beast. The show requires actors to stay in character 24/7 for weeks at a time to fool a single “hero” who doesn’t know he’s on a TV show. It was so intense that Hodge began to lose her own identity. During a day off, her husband called her name in the kitchen and she didn’t answer. “I finally went, ‘Helen?’” she says, referring to her character. “I wasn’t responding to myself.”
Despite the high-wire act of modern television, Hodge remains grounded by a history of personal hurdles. She speaks candidly about her past struggles with an eating disorder, noting that even now, she has to stay vigilant. “I was anorexic when I was younger, and when things get overwhelming, I get ‘anorexic head,’” she explains. “I have to tell my husband, ‘I have anorexic head coming on, so you need to watch me.’”
When asked for the secret to a long career in a notoriously fickle industry, her advice is practical and gritty. She stresses persistence, the need to write “like a crazy person,” and the importance of never working for free. But she also advocates for a certain level of kindness, even when dealing with the industry’s more difficult personalities. “Never tell anyone to ‘eff off,’” she advises. “Call them a ‘big silly goose’ instead; it’s much more effective and makes them think for years.”
As she looks toward the future, with a stand-up special in the works and her new shows hitting streaming platforms, Hodge’s ultimate goal is surprisingly simple. She wants equality — a world where people accept differences instead of fearing them. “Strip off the skin and we’re all the same,” she says. It is a classic sentiment from a woman who has spent her life stripping away the polish of show business to find the humor and humanity underneath.
Yitzi: Stephanie, it is so nice to meet you. Before we dive in deep, our readers would love to learn about your personal origin story. Can you share with us the story of your childhood, how you grew up, and the seeds and origins for all the great things that have come since then?
Stephanie: It’s nice to meet you. I was a very lucky child. I grew up in a very small town in Southern Ohio called Wilmington. My father was a college professor and my mother was a teacher and principal. I have one sibling, an older sister. So, it was two kids, mom and dad, and a nice little house with a white picket fence. Honestly, we had a white picket fence. It was a very nice childhood. We first lived in a little tiny house in a sweet neighborhood with kids all over the place, and then we moved to a big house on a bigger street. They built a McDonald’s across the street from us, so I was the most popular kid in the world because I lived across the street from a McDonald’s. That was exciting. I had a good childhood, I really did. There was a park right up the street from the second house we lived in, so there was baseball in the summertime and skating on the pond in the wintertime. My father was a college professor at the little Quaker Fine Arts College. I think I was three the first time I was in a play. I played an orphan in Teahouse of the August Moon, and that was my first stage experience. They had summer theater, so I was in summer theater every summer. I just got introduced to it that way through my mom and dad; they participated every summer. My dad was an art professor and an artist, so that’s how I got involved in theater. Then I went to college there, and later went to Ohio University for the theater program. Then I moved to Minneapolis to see what the theater was like there, and from there I moved to Los Angeles. I just stayed in it from age three on. I was also in our Quaker church — I’m a Quaker. We did the story of the night Jesus was born, and I got to be one of the three wise men. That was pretty cool. I didn’t get to be Mary, which I was kind of consternated about, but you can’t always be the star, and the three wise men were very important. My dad kept walking around saying, “Look at you, you’re one of the three wise guys. You’re one of the three wise guys.”
Yitzi: Were you playing as a man, or did they change it to be the three wise women?
Stephanie: No, I was a man. My father told me it was very Shakespearean to play a man as a woman because men used to play women. That piqued my interest right there in Shakespeare; I was probably about ten when that happened.
Yitzi: You probably have some amazing stories from all the different parts of your illustrious career. I’m sure this is hard to single out, but can you share one or two stories that most stand out in your mind from your professional life?
Stephanie: Oh, wow. As a comic, I think this is a terrible story, but it does stand out. One of the things that stands out the most for me is when I was at the Improv on Melrose one night. I was just trying out new material and winging it, and there weren’t a lot of people left in the room. It was late; I think it was creeping up on midnight or even a little after. Mike Tyson was sitting in the front row. I had gotten a cup of coffee at the bar before I went on stage, and when I took a sip, it was really hot. I burned my tongue and I said, “Oh my god. Have you ever burned your tongue drinking coffee? I’m so thorry.” Mike Tyson looks… I said, “I’m so thorry, I have to thalk like thith for a minute.” Mike Tyson looked up at me and goes, “Ith all right, I know what thath about.” It just about killed me. Everybody laughed so hard. I laughed so hard I couldn’t speak for a couple of minutes. You have to admit that is the most good-natured thing you’ve ever heard Mike Tyson do.
Yitzi: Such a good story. I thought it was going to go in a different direction.
Stephanie: But that stands out. That definitely stands out to me. There was also the night my mother heckled me and threatened to take me off stage. That was a night I was in Kentucky, and my parents had come over from Ohio. My parents are from Kentucky, but I grew up in Ohio. They came over to watch my show and sat in the back of the room because I wouldn’t let my father sit in the front. He heckles me, he makes faces, he puts his glasses on upside down — he’s terrible. He’s the worst audience member and it’s just horrifying, so I made him sit in the back. My mother kept heckling me from the back, and I couldn’t tell where she was because it was dark. She was just being the worst. She said, “If you open your mouth with that filthy thing coming out of there again, I’m going to come up there and take you home.” I said a dirty word, so she stands up from the back and starts coming towards the stage. She came on stage, grabbed me by the ear, jerked it, and took me off stage while I was shouting, “Goodnight everybody! Have a nice time! Goodnight!” I had done my hour, so my time was up.
Yitzi: I’m sure people thought that was part of the act.
Stephanie: They did. They all stood up and applauded. I said, “Mother, you got a standing ovation.” I didn’t get my sense of humor from my mother, so there you go. I was in my late 20s. But that was mama — she was quite a character.
Yitzi: There’s a saying that sometimes our mistakes can be our greatest teachers. Do you have a story about a funny mistake you made when you were first starting your career or comedy, and the lesson you took away from it?
Stephanie: A big mistake I made… I thought it was a mistake, but it didn’t turn out to be one. I got mad because I was part owner of a comedy club in Minneapolis in 1980. I was co-owner with two guys, and they were both misogynistic as all get out. I hadn’t tried standup at this point, and I had a girlfriend named Doreen Nichols. She said, “It’s just not right that these guys get to do whatever they want on stage and there’s no place for women, or you, to do anything. You’re part owner of this club. You own a third of this club. It was your money lent to this other guy that got him part of this club. Why can’t you go up there and do something? I dare you. I bet you 50 bucks you don’t have the nerve to stand up to him.” You know, somebody dropped a gauntlet, and there I was. I picked it up, but I didn’t have any idea what to do. I really had a terrible opinion of standup comics. That was my biggest mistake: I didn’t like them. I didn’t trust them. I thought they were all a bunch of chumps, and I didn’t have any nice things to say about standup comics. Yet there I was owning a third of a comedy club. We did sketches too, so I was on that side. I went up and did five minutes, I guess. I wrote it all out like I was an actor acting like a standup. I killed the first time. It was the subsequent hundred times after that where I bombed like a terrible old ship. I was awful after that. But that first night, I did well. I wouldn’t say I was amazing, but I did really well. To my shock, all the comics were really supportive of me that night. It stunned me. These guys had been saying, “Nah, you don’t want to try this. There’s really no place for women in this.” Yet they turned out to be supportive. Like my act, the 100 times after that were not so supportive, but that one night, everything came together. That’s why I continued to do it. It was the subsequent evenings where the truth leaked out. They weren’t that supportive after that, though a couple of them were. My big mistake was thinking that comics were just horrible. They were never horrible; they just didn’t want women coming into their territory, which was mean, but it was their clubhouse.
Yitzi: There’s a related saying that “no” is not rejection but redirection or protection. Do you have a story where you got a “no” to an opportunity, but it led to an unexpected success or blessing?
Stephanie: Yes. The “no” regarding going up at my own club or anybody else’s club was a remarkable opening for me. I went to a gay club. I hung out there and met some people who were really genuine, nice, and generous. They built a little stage for me at the gay club. It was beautiful — the most beautiful stage in town. I got to do standup there. I ended up doing standup at First Avenue, Prince’s club, for the male strip shows. All those guys were gay, so I got the best hair and makeup, and they let me borrow their clothes. I had the best hair, makeup, and wardrobe of anybody. I would go out and MC the male strip shows there, then I would go to the gay club and do a set. The guys eventually let me work out at Mickey Finn’s with them. I worked my way in, but I had to take a different doorway in. Thank God for the gay clubs.
Yitzi: Please tell us about all these exciting new things you’re working on. Be as elaborate as you like; we’d love to support you.
Stephanie: I’m telling you, The Comeback. The Comeback is so exciting for me because that was on my bucket list. There were seven years between the first Comeback and the second Comeback. I thought it was never going to happen. You get so frustrated because you build this bucket list as an actor. You find an actress you love and identify with, and you have these things in your head that you want to do. I got the call to audition for The Comeback, and I literally had to sit down and be quiet for 10 minutes because I could not believe it. I’m getting to my bucket list and I’m not dead yet! I’m still fully functioning, or at least I think I am. Getting that part was amazing. It was really fun because I play an assistant director (AD). My husband is semi-retired and was an AD for years. I thought, “At least I know what they do, how they really feel, and what it’s like when he comes home after an 18-hour day with four hours to sleep.” When I got the part, I was just excited. It was the best experience. Michael Patrick King is such a director. I want to live with him and just have him tell me what to do all the time — though that would probably be an inconvenience. Working with Lisa Kudrow was a trip. She was always my favorite on Friends. Sorry to the rest of them, but she was the funniest and the most natural. To watch her work and to get to work with her was a priceless experience. Being directed by Michael and working with Lisa were bucket list things combined into one great big joy. I am tickled to death. It’s amazing because when you tell other actors you’re on The Comeback, they just say, “What?” It’s an actor’s thing; actors know how exciting that is. It is so well done; there’s so much respect on that set, so much fun, and so much professionalism. It’s the best work.
Yitzi: Tell our readers why they have to watch it.
Stephanie: Because there is something in this that’s never been done before, broached, or sensed. It’s amazing and funny as hell, too. The subtleties are pristine. I don’t usually feel proud — I usually feel terrified — but I feel proud of this.
Yitzi: Looking back at your career, what was the most challenging project or role you’ve taken on so far and why?
Stephanie: I think the most challenging one was Jury Duty: Corporate Retreat. That’s because we were on 24/7 for two weeks with a non-actor person. To improvise and stay in character like that is the most challenging thing I have ever done. I wish every actor could have that opportunity because you get lost inside it. It’s a good thing, but you find yourself… there was one instance where we had one day off in the middle of those two weeks. But you’re not really off. You go home, but you feel awkward. I didn’t feel like myself. My husband was talking to me from the kitchen and I didn’t answer. He said, “Stephanie. Stephanie. Stephanie.”He finally went, “Helen?” I didn’t hear my name; I heard Helen, which was my character’s name. I wasn’t responding to myself. The cast only knew our character’s names; we didn’t know each other’s real names at all. We had improvised and gotten to know each other as characters for three weeks before we started filming. It was interesting to find each other within those characters.
Yitzi: Were there times you thought he was for sure going to figure out it was a show?
Stephanie: Oh my word, there were times when my heart was pounding out of my chest. I thought, “He knows, he knows.” He would say things like, “Y’all, this is like a TV show.” We’d just freeze and say, “No, that’s crazy talk.” If someone appeared in the distance who wasn’t supposed to be there, we’d have to turn him around and walk him in the other direction. Once, I lost one of the little microphones we wear in our ears. I had all the women in the cast in my room trying to find it. Here comes Anthony, our hero, knocking at my door to tell me it’s lunchtime. Lanisa, who plays Jackie, opens the door. We weren’t allowed to have phones, but she was holding one because she was using the flashlight to look under things. She rips the door open and yells, “What do you want? We’re doing women things in here!” She slammed the phone behind her back, and the rest of us just stood still with our phones behind our backs. He saw all these women with one arm behind their back being yelled at, and he just said, “Lunch?” We slammed the door in his face. That poor man didn’t catch on. I think Jackie scared him so bad he just ran away. There were quite a few moments like that where we thought, “Oh no.”
Yitzi: Unbelievable. Did you watch the first Jury Duty? What do you think is funnier, yours or the first one?
Stephanie: They’re so different. The first one was in a controlled atmosphere in a courthouse and a hotel. We were just uncontrolled vagabonds. There’s a mountain, woods, a convention center, a yurt, a gym — we were everywhere. Our director, Jake Szymanski, and the crew were everywhere. You’d walk by a little cart and there’d be some poor man with a camera crunched up in there. They had cameramen hanging from trees and God knows what else. The only privacy you had was when you were sleeping or going to the bathroom, which is really the only privacy you need when you think about it. It was amazing.
Yitzi: I can’t wait to watch it. The first one was my favorite comedy ever.
Stephanie: Well, you’ll love this one. This one is crazy. It makes sense, but it’s completely insane. I can’t explain it. We waited so long to talk about it, and now people ask what it’s like, and I can’t explain it. I was right there and I still can’t explain it.
Yitzi: What would happen if someone slipped mid-season? The whole thing would be messed up, right?
Stephanie: Yeah, we’d have to start over with somebody else.
Yitzi: Did Anthony see the first one or hear about it?
Stephanie: I don’t think he did. But there were many times he would say, “Man, this is like a TV show, I can’t believe this.” He was great because there were times we had to lead him into doing or saying something, and those moments are difficult. This guy just had the intuition to go there or say it on his own. He is such a good man and a good human being.
Yitzi: I interviewed people from the first one and they said the exact same thing about Ron.
Stephanie: I met Ron and spent some time with him. These two guys are good, solid human beings. We need more guys like them. Watching the two of them talk together made me wish they were my kids. My daughter is great, but she’s not these guys — first of all, she’s a girl, which is good because I like that she’s a great woman. But they are amazing.
Yitzi: Okay, I’m so excited to watch it. This is our signature question: can you share five things needed to create a highly successful career in comedy?
Stephanie:
- First, persistence. Persistence, persistence, persistence.
- Second, you need to write. Write like a crazy person all the time.
- Third, you have to trust yourself. Everyone gets an imposter complex, but don’t have self-doubt. You started because you thought you could.
- Fourth, never sell yourself short. If someone says you can work their club for free if you bring in ten people, don’t do it. You are worthy and deserve to be paid in money. If you’re going to promote a name, promote your own.
- Fifth, take care of yourself. If you feel crazy, take a break. Put your pen down, sit quietly, and be nice to yourself. And never tell anyone to “eff off.” That’s part of self-care. Call them a “big silly goose” instead; it’s much more effective and makes them think for years.
Yitzi: Talking about self-care, can you share some of the routines you do to help your body, mind, and heart thrive?
Stephanie: I have a rowing machine and I row a lot. It’s a great place to think and work off frustrations and fears. I am an overthinker, so I read. I read books about hiking in the desert, horror novels, or suspense — anything as far removed from reality as possible. I also get manicures and pedicures; I practice an act of self-indulgence like once a month. I’ll buy a sweater or have an extra conditioner put in my hair. I also sit down and talk to my husband in depth once a month. I was anorexic when I was younger, and when things get overwhelming, I get “anorexic head.” I have to tell him, “I have anorexic head coming on, so you need to watch me.” He’ll say, “Yes, that’s okay, let’s have some chips.” I haven’t suffered from it for years, but it’s still up there, so you have to say something. Communication is key.
Yitzi: This is our final, aspirational question. If you could spread an idea or inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be?
Stephanie: Equality. I wish people could just look at each other as another person and accept all differences as unique opportunities instead of something to be afraid of. If we could completely accept each other, there would be no wars and no “sides.” I’ll die on that hill. Strip off the skin and we’re all the same. We need to love each other the same.
Yitzi: Well said. How can our readers watch your new material and support you?
Stephanie: On March 20th, Jury Duty: Corporate Retreat is on Amazon Prime. The Comeback will be on HBO and premieres on March 22. I’m also doing a standup special that should be out by the end of the year, though I’m just dipping my toes in right now.
Yitzi: How can our readers follow you online?
Stephanie: I’m on Instagram and Facebook, and that’s about it. I always get in trouble online too.
Yitzi: Stephanie, it’s so great to meet you. I wish you continued success, good health, and blessings.
Stephanie: Thank you so much. I wish all those wonderful things for you as well.
Stephanie Hodge Talks ‘The Comeback’, ‘Jury Duty: Corporate Retreat’ and Her Comedy Resurgence was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.