Unstoppable: How Michelle Kuei of Elevate LifeCoaching Overcame A Physical Disability To Achieve Success
Please don’t judge. Our ability to do things will often surprise you. Give us a chance to show our talents. Give us the tools that would make our life easier so we can make your job easier. The pharmacy director I was working with years ago when I first started, after he hired me, made a quick announcement and request to purchase step stools. My colleague said he yelled out “Quick! We need to order some stepstools because I just hired a short person!” I laughed so hard, but I’m grateful that he thought about this right away.
As a part of our “Unstoppable” series, I had the pleasure of interviewing Michelle Kuei.
Michelle Kuei is an international professional speaker, coach and critically acclaimed author. Her life’s mission is to change people’s attitudes, guide their behavior and inspire and empower them to achieve greatness.
At age 11, Michelle was permanently disabled in a car accident that froze her growth at 4’ 4” and left her needing crutches to walk. By her own admission, she wasn’t just physically small — she used live her life emotionally small. The hardest part of living with a visible disability was the shame and unworthiness that she carried in her heart and mind.
So she embarked on what began as just physical fitness journey — and evolved into a life-transformation journey when she decided to join her gym mates in their quest to climb Machu Picchu in Peru. She hiked up the 26 miles of ascending trail, 8–10 hours a day. She had to bandage her wrists so they wouldn’t break as they took the load of her body weight with every step on her crutches.
She ultimately ascended the peak … crawling on her hands and knees at the end, to the cheers of those in her party who had been strangers at the outset of the journey.
When she came home, she was changed forever. The voices of shame and doubt about her body were gone.
She was free to live life fearlessly. And to help others do the same.
That’s exactly what she does through Elevate LifeCoaching, her speaking engagements and her podcast.
Thank you so much for doing this with us! It is really an honor. Our readers would love to get to know you a bit better. Can you share your “backstory” with us?
I believe everyone is born like a diamond. I am a diamond.
But for many of us, our story never starts out with us being a diamond. We start out as this ordinary rock covered with billions of years of dust and sand. But then, usually out of something traumatic — maybe a divorce, getting fired from a job, losing a loved one or a tragic accident — a collision happens in our lives, and that’s when the MAGIC begins. That’s when we realize we are a diamond, and there is no going back. I was this concealed diamond waiting for the perfect moment to see the truth of who I was and who I can be.
Today I am the founder of Elevate LifeCoaching, a seminar and coaching company, a motivational speaker on the topic of resiliency, a clinical pharmacist working for Keck Medical Center of USC and the author of a memoir Perfectly Normal: An Immigrant’s Story of Making It In America. I’m 4’4” tall, I walk with crutches, and I hiked the Inca Trail to Machu Picchu.
So … dare I say … I am just an ordinary girl on my way to doing extraordinary things.
Do you feel comfortable sharing with us the story surrounding how you became disabled or became ill? What mental shift did you make to not let that “stop you”?
My story began when I was 11 years old. After school one day I was hit by a taxi that ran a red light. The collision pushed me 20 feet away (according to witnesses at the scene) as I crossed the street to meet my mom, who was picking me up from school on her motorbike.
I have no recollection whatsoever from the time of the impact to the moment I woke up in a hospital bed looking up to the ceiling, the smell of sterile cleansing chemicals and the painful sensation from my lower body. I remember waking up looking for familiar faces to grasp the new reality I found myself in.
Mom was holding my hand. Standing next to her was my dad. And opposite them was a doctor in his white coat explaining with medical terminology I didn’t quite understand what had happened to me. As I looked down, I noticed I had this plaster cast all over my lower body — from my waist to both of my ankles. It looked like I was wearing big, gigantic cast pants, except there wasn’t any room to be move.
I was trapped.
I was sent home to recover for the next three months from this initial collision. By the time I returned to the hospital again, doctors had discovered that my thigh bones weren’t healing. They sent me back to the surgery room to operate and place several pins to stabilize my bones. First it was my thigh bone, then it was my shin. I have 11 surgical scars covering both of my legs from top to bottom — anywhere from 10 to 15 stitches that range between 1 inch to 5 inches in length.
This entire journey of recovering from a single collision in my life took away the majority of what it’s like to be an 11-year-old normal kid — fun, adventurous, curious and ready to discover the world. When I think back, from 11 to 15 my days were filled with learning how to operate a wheelchair, learning how to stand on my feet again and learning that you must be willing to feel the pain to get better.
There were so many things I had taken for granted in my past that I didn’t realize I would miss so much. Doctors had to put me in a plaster cast each time after surgery, and by the time they removed these casts, my muscles were stiff, and it felt like I had to retrain all my body parts to work for me again.
I remember lying on my physical therapist’s working bench one day, and she handed me a piece of yoga strap and told me to bend my knee. I looped it around my ankle, laid on my stomach on the bench, pulled the yoga strap toward me to facilitate this bending process. I was in tears because it hurt so bad. Being inflexible like a tin man is not a fun thing.
The idea of “shifting” our mindset is a funny thing. Because many of us don’t operate life like a car. We don’t just shift our gears to live a different life suddenly. Changes usually take place slowly over time, and you really have to pay attention to all the signals that show up. This is true for me. While the accident led to a permanent damage to my physical body, it wasn’t until later that I realized the impact it made on me emotionally and mentally.
I realized there were a lot of inconveniences and judgments in my life. I wished that I never had this accident, and I would look perfectly normal. One day, I got out of my car, and I noticed this dark stain on my white t-shirt. I didn’t know where it came from until I sat back down in the car and looked down. It finally occurred to me that I had been putting on some weight and this stain on my white t-shirt was a sign!
Having a disability gave me a lot of excuses for not being in shape! I just turned 40 when I had this a-ha moment. Once I start thinking about my overall health, I started to get worried.
I couldn’t run, I couldn’t jump, but If I continued to sit still, I really didn’t know how much longer I would be able to last. And not to mention I have a family history of diabetes and high blood pressure.
Life was happening to me — with a disability or no disability. So, it was time to put away the little me and start working on the bigger me.
Can you tell our readers about the accomplishments you have been able to make despite your disability or illness?
Sure! Where do I even begin? How about the part that I was on top of Machu Picchu with my two pink arm crutches sticking up in the air waving? I consider that day to be my most remarkable milestone in life. All the others are just extra.
Professionally I have been a clinical pharmacist for the last 20 years with a doctor’s degree in pharmacy. I am a certified professional coach, a 2018 graduate of the Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (aka iPEC Coaching), which is internationally recognized and has been accredited by the International Coach Federation since 2002. I am also certified in content marketing, and I specialize in visibility coaching
I served on the board of the United Nations Association of USA Pasadena Chapter for two years and later was elected to be the secretary of the chapter. I’m actively involved with Toastmasters International and was elected as the division A director at District 100. I have also volunteered for the nonprofit organization Feeding Dreams in Cambodia, serving as an English teacher from K to 12.
I’m a big believer that it’s not how much you do but how what you do makes you feel that determines the level of our accomplishments. While I have many abbreviations and titles to my name, I’d rather focus on the fun stuff.
What advice would you give to other people who have disabilities or limitations?
There’s this famous saying passed down to us that says “We are not human beings having a spiritual experience; we are spiritual beings having a human experience.” I think it’s very important to acknowledge the pain and struggle that a person with a disability must go through. For you, going to a grocery store and picking up an item from a shelf may be simple, but for someone with a disability, this task can pose extreme challenges. Waking up in the middle of the night feeling the pain is REAL, but don’t let the pain stop you from seeing the light within you. When things get tough, focus on the little things that bring you joy.
One of my favorite analogies is to imagine you are a bag of Skittles. When you pour it out in your palm, you have all these colors right in front of your eyes. They are within your reach. So instead of focusing on what you have lost or couldn’t have, focus on the things you do have. Disability is not what’s stopping you from living; how you see your own disability is the limiting factor that will determine the aptitude of your life.
None of us are able to achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person who you are grateful towards who helped get you to where you are?
Do I have enough space to list everyone? Good thing we are not doing this on a stage, otherwise I would be taking a lot of time to list everyone! I don’t believe I would have become who I am without the support and help of multiple people in my life — my parents and my siblings chief among them. However, if I must name only one person who I am extremely grateful for it would have to be my personal fitness coach, Joe from Matador Performance Center in Pasadena, California.
I would never have been able to hike Machu Picchu if it wasn’t for him. He gave me a tour of his facility and offered his help to train me. I was so afraid to go to a gym because I had never been to one. Let alone worked on those big fitness machines. Honestly, I didn’t even know how to use a treadmill. I’m grateful that when I doubted myself, there was someone who encouraged me, kept me on my toes and celebrated all the milestones with me. One day, we were having a conversation and this term “life coach” came up — and it lit the fire inside of me. That same day when I came home, I Googled to search the term and that’s how I ended up shifting my career after 20 years of being in healthcare.
How have you used your success to bring goodness to the world?
When I came home from my Machu Picchu trip, it finally dawned on me why I am here (meaning being born). I realized that I can be a source of inspiration for someone. I remember on the trail, many travelers from all over the world keep passing me. Each time they passed, they would turn and give me a thumbs-up. But at the same time, I realized I was giving them a thumbs-up every step of the way.
“If I can do this, so can you!”
“Keep going!”
That’s what I do for my clients. Let them know, I see you. I see that you are a diamond even when you don’t believe you are. You are different and you are unique. This has been my philosophy as a visibility coach and motivational speaker. I believe in you even when you don’t believe in yourself. And if I can start a coaching and speaking business from scratch, I know you can do this, too!
When someone sees what you cannot see for yourself, THAT IS POWERFUL.
And you know what people do when they feel powerful? They become unstoppable.
Can you share “5 things I wish people understood or knew about people with physical limitations” and why.
I want people to understand:
- I am normal. Yes, I may look different from you, but I am normal, and you can totally talk to me like a normal human being.
- Ask if you need help. We all have this feeling and hesitation about whether someone needs our help. I think many of us with physical disabilities have our ways of getting things done, but occasionally it’s nice to have some help. When in doubt, please ask.
- Can we have public stalls made equally for all sizes? Seriously, the first time I visited Lego Land, I felt I was in heaven! They had public stalls made for my height! HELLO! I don’t consider myself a “little person,” but I can totally empathize with them. Can we be more inclusive on the stall sizes?
- Be mindful of how we design things. If people are going to place items on higher shelves, then please have a call button located at the end of each aisle. And I feel this can also be extremely helpful for our elderly population, who may need to get something from a higher shelf but are unable to reach and to find someone from the store to help. I think it would be wonderful if stores can take this into consideration.
- Please don’t judge. Our ability to do things will often surprise you. Give us a chance to show our talents. Give us the tools that would make our life easier so we can make your job easier. The pharmacy director I was working with years ago when I first started, after he hired me, made a quick announcement and request to purchase step stools. My colleague said he yelled out “Quick! We need to order some stepstools because I just hired a short person!” I laughed so hard, but I’m grateful that he thought about this right away.
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”?
Bravery is A Choice. It is a choice we make in facing our struggles, challenges and adversity without Fear.” — That’s from me. 😊
We are very blessed that some of the biggest names in Business, VC funding, Sports, and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? He or she might just see this 🙂
Morgan Freeman.
I would love to have lunch with Morgan. I’ve watched many of his films and documentaries in the past. I think I would enjoy listening to his voice over lunch. Who wouldn’t? I also love his humanitarian efforts in providing education for children, among many charitable causes he’s been involved in. I believe we would have an amazingly inspiring conversation. OK, Morgan! Let’s have lunch sometime? 🙂
This was very meaningful, thank you so much. We wish you only continued success on your great work!
Unstoppable: How Michelle Kuei of Elevate LifeCoaching Overcame A Physical Disability To Achieve… was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.