Thriving As An Introvert: Sarah Manley On How Introverts Can Thrive & Succeed In A Society That Seems To Favor Extroverts
Avoid feeling the pressure to be someone you’re not. Remember that it is ok to be an introvert. When the workplace environment is geared towards extraverted behaviors this can be really tough — I know, I’ve been there! If I was starting over, there are 2 things I would priorities — self-understanding and creating a support network. It’s really worth investing in getting to know what makes you tick. This isn’t about comparing yourself to others but about truly understanding the value you bring and accepting what you need to function and grow as the best version of yourself.
In a world that often rewards outspokenness and social networking, introverts can sometimes feel sidelined or overlooked. The workplace, educational institutions, and even social settings can often seem engineered to suit the strengths of extroverts, leaving introverts searching for a space to flourish.
However, introversion comes with its own set of unique strengths — deep thinking, the ability to focus, empathy, and keen observational skills — that are invaluable but often underestimated. The question then becomes: how can introverts not only survive but also thrive and succeed in environments that seem skewed towards extroversion? In this interview series, we are talking to introverts, business leaders, psychologists, authors, career coaches, organizational leaders, and other experts in the field who can talk about “How Introverts Can Thrive & Succeed In A Society That Seems To Favor Extroverts”. As part of this series, we had the pleasure of interviewing Sarah Manley.
Sarah Manley is an introvert career expert, coach and author who’s celebrating her book “Quiet Catalyst: The Introvert’s Guide to Thriving in Your Career” becoming a #1bestseller
A seasoned professional with two decades of international experience in prominent corporate organizations across the UK and the Netherlands, she brings a wealth of expertise to her role as a life and career coach, and consultant, focused on supporting introverts in the workplace.
As an introvert, Sarah draws upon her own experiences to illuminate the way for others. Her business, The Quiet Catalyst, not only reflects her coaching and consultancy services, but also stands as a testament to her journey as an introverted professional. It serves as a platform for her supportive and knowledgeable voice, offering valuable insights to others navigating the corporate landscape.
Thank you so much for your time! Our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you tell us your “Origin Story”? Can you tell us the story of how you grew up?
I grew up in a small family as an only child in a little village in the middle of England. Life was quiet — which suited me perfectly. I was studious and enjoyed learning. I remember in my primary school years enjoying writing books for the ‘little kids’. It wasn’t until I went to university and started work that I realised I was quieter than most. Whilst I had a few really good friends, I often found myself on the edge of social groups and less vocal than my peers in meetings. I didn’t even hear the word introvert until I was in my mid-20s! Suddenly I felt quite out of place in the corporate world.
Can you tell us a bit about what you do professionally, and what brought you to this specific career path?
Today I work as a coach & mentor helping introverts to thrive in their careers with confidence and energy (without needing to perform as an extravert!). Having published my Amazon Number 1 Best Selling book ‘Quiet Catalyst — The introvert’s guide to thriving in your career’ in May this year, I am now taking my insights and support to organizations through talks and workshops. This all comes from my 20-years of experience as an introvert in the corporate world. I have led international teams, climbed the ladder and experienced first-hand the challenges of being a quieter, more reserved and contemplative person when it comes to being visible, having impact and being valued at work. When it was my opportunity to take redundancy I set out on my current path to help introverts see that they can be successful just by being themselves and to shake the status quo of what it means to be an introvert in the workplace.
Thank you for all that. Let’s now turn to the main focus of our discussion about Thriving As An Introvert. In order to make sure that we are all on the same page, let’s begin with a simple definition. What does “Introvert” mean to you?
It’s all about energy. Where you get your energy from and what drains your energy. Introverts’ brains are more responsive to dopamine which means that too much stimulation is overwhelming. This is why introverts can feel ‘peopled-out’ or experience a ‘social hangover’. Being with large numbers of people for a long time is literally exhausting. Introverts need time alone to recharge their batteries.
I talk about the different types of introvert in my book — social, anxious, thinking, empathetic, restrained, intuitive, sensing. It’s helpful to look beyond the initial label of ‘introvert’ and look more deeply your unique fingerprint of what makes you you.
Can you help articulate a few of the challenges that come with being an introvert?
I think the main challenge comes from the need to be ‘always on’ in the workplace. Back-to-back meetings, workshops, and events all day every day drains an introvert’s battery and does not give any down time to turn inward and recharge. Overtime this can have serious consequences and I’ve seen people get sick and even burn out if the environment around them isn’t supportive of their needs.
Given the introspective nature of introverts, most identify with being someone who prefers to ‘think to speak’ (rather than a more extraverted ‘speak to think’. This means that in a meeting introverts will often be the last ones to speak, taking their time to process the conversation and think deeply about their contribution. That’s ok IF the group does consciously make space for everyone to speak, but often the decision is made, and the conversation moves on before everyone has made their point. Over time this reduces the visibility and perceived impact of that person, and can be really damaging to their confidence too.
Many of the ways of working in an office environment are set up in a way that don’t suit introverts as well as it does extraverts — noisy open plan offices, brainstorming meetings, a preference for louder and bolder characters, big social gatherings to name but a few. For many introverts, they assume that they are the only one who feels like a square peg in a round hole, because they don’t see more senior colleagues role-modelling introverted behaviors or actively working to include introvert preferences.
I’m sure that being an introvert also gives you certain advantages. Can you tell us a few advantages that introverts have?
This is such an important question, as so often the advantages of being an introvert are overlooked! Through my work I compiled a list top 20 introvert strengths. Some that come up time and time again are:
Deep listening and empathy — that ability to make people feel heard and seen in a world that can often feel so relentless and distant
Keen observation and attention to detail — the skill to see patterns in things and come up with innovative solutions to difficult problems
Calm and focused — these are such important qualities for making big decisions with pause for reflection and long-term planning which is so much needed in a VUCA world full of constant change and flux.
Introverts can make great leaders because of these advantages.
What are the “myths” that you would like to dispel about being an introvert? Can you explain what you mean?
All introverts are shy, quiet, and aloof! Wrong! Introversion and shyness are not the same thing. Shyness comes from a fear of judgement — extraverts can be shy just as an introvert can be confident! Whilst introverts are unlikely to be the loudest person in the room, it certainly does not mean they have nothing to say. It may just take longer for them to formulate what they want to contribute. In group situations that may feel draining, introverts often put a lot of pressure on themselves to say ‘just the right thing’ and in turn this leads to a bigger delay in speaking and can come across as aloof, but actually they are just feeling awkward in the moment. Have them speaking on a topic that they are passionate and knowledgeable about and they can be the most vocal person in the room!
Introverts aren’t good team players! Wrong! Whilst it’s true that introverts typically prefer deep, independent work it is not true that they only work well in isolation. Introverts’ skills of listening, assimilating and interpreting data among others are really important assets to bring to a team. Introversion — extraversion are just one of the continuums of diversity that is important to have fairly represented in any high-performing team.
Introverts can’t lead others! Wrong! Whist a traditional (and outdated) definition of leadership requires someone to be loud, directive and be able to give the rallying cry from the stage, there are other and more effective ways to motivate a team. An introvert’s ability to form strong relationships, listen to and coach others, foster collaboration, and to think deeply and strategically sets us apart.
Do you have any role models who are also introverts? What have you learned from them that can help introverts navigate the challenges and benefits of introversion?
Having someone who walks the talk of being a successful, authentic introvert as a role model or mentor is so important. When I was early in my career I perceived that to be successful you had to be an extravert and I spent a long time trying to fit that mould — which was not fulfilling and not good for my health!
I am a big fan of Susan Cain. Many people will know her for her book ‘Quiet’ from 2015. When I read it I finally felt understood and so much of what I had struggled with over the years finally made sense. She now runs an online community for fellow introverts and I am inspired to see lead the live ‘candlelit chats’ just as herself, with no pomp and ceremony or loud fanfare. In her book there is a great quote that always inspires me to be myself yet find the courage to do great things, “Figure out what you are meant to contribute to the world and make sure you contribute it. If this requires public speaking or networking or other activities that make you uncomfortable, do them anyway. But accept that they are difficult, get the training you need to make them easier, and reward yourself when you’re done.”
I would love to encourage more senior introverts to talk about their experience of introversion in the workplace and in doing so ‘give permission’ to others to be themselves too.
Here is the primary question of our discussion. Based on your experience and success, what are the “Five Things Introverts Need To Thrive & Succeed In A Society That Seems To Favor Extroverts”? If you can, please share a story or an example for each.
1 . Start with your strengths. I’m a big believer in focusing on what you are naturally good at and what you enjoy doing. Doing this enables you to create real expertise in that area and it will set you apart from others. For example if you are already good at handling data and writing reports, then do what you can to become excellent at it — make it your superpower!
2 . Elevate your confidence. Often we are benchmarked versus an extravert ideal and told that we need to speak up more and be more visible. Over time this kind of feedback gives us a false sense that we are not good enough and can really knock the belief we have in ourselves and sabotage our confidence. This is the number one thing people come to work with me on. Remember, confidence is not something you are born with or without, it is something in your control and can be worked on.
3 . Manage your energy. In our hectic lives, I find many introverts wanting to nosedive on the sofa each evening and bolt the door all weekend. Giving all your energy to work and not having enough left for you is not ok — and it doesn’t have to be that way. I encourage you to get serious about taking care of your energy. Start to notice what specifically drains your energy and what boosts it. Plan your rest and recharge after tough meetings and social engagements, but also plan time to boost your energy before heading into those situations so that you are not leaving it all out on the field and crashing behind the scenes.
4 . Build new muscles in areas that are important to you. There will be skills that you are not naturally great at that you may want to develop to help you grow in your career. You may have received all kinds of feedback from well-meaning people about what they think you need to work on, but it is important that you decide what you want. Trying to work towards something challenging that does not feel meaningful to you is incredibly tough! For me personally the two main things I am working on are public speaking and networking — I have never liked being the centre of attention, and I find large events really tiring. But I choose to invest my energy into building these muscles because they are important for my business and for the mission I believe in — helping fellow introverts to thrive in their career. I will never be an Olympic weightlifter, but I will get stronger with training, practice and self-belief.
5 . Talk about being an introvert. Far from something to be fixed, introversion is something to be proud of and celebrated. Talking to others about your experience of being an introvert has two main benefits. First it helps others to understand how you experience the world and sets you up to have a positive conversation about your needs and your boundaries. I find a lot of introverts either flexing all the time to meet everyone else’s preferred way of doing things, or instead totally retreating to avoid being in an unsupportive environment. Use your confidence to be clear in advocating for what you need to be successful. Second, sharing experiences helps other introverts to feel seen and heard. As a leader I would often talk to my team about my experience of being a senior director as an introvert. This helped to normalize diverse behaviours and give permission to act in a way that was authentic — for example taking energy boosting breaks, attending only the first hour of a networking event, and using more inclusive techniques in workshops.
How should an introvert navigate social relationships and networking, activities that are often touted as extroverts’ forte? Do you have any advice for introverts in these areas?
I find that a lot of people (both introvert and extravert) find it helpful to reframe what networking means — let go of the idea of ‘working the room’ and think instead of having ‘a conversation with a purpose’ and be clear about what makes it important for you to be there. Setting a goal that is realistic for you really makes a difference and will feel less overwhelming — for example, aim to speak to 3 people or attend for 30 minutes.
Many introverts feel that they struggle with small talk because it is superficial. Think of it instead as the warm up to the ‘big talk’, and ask a few open questions to uncover what you have in common with the person. If you struggle to be part of a larger group conversation, don’t hover on the sidelines of a group that’s already formed. Instead seek out the individuals who are also looking for someone to speak to — try the coffee line or buffet table!
I’ve found online networking to be much easier. I like the clear structure of the agenda and the smaller size of the breakout rooms. This is a great place to practice talking about yourself and asking questions to the people you meet.
What are some practical tips you can offer to introverts who want to succeed in the workplace, which is often geared towards extroverted behaviors?
Avoid feeling the pressure to be someone you’re not. Remember that it is ok to be an introvert. When the workplace environment is geared towards extraverted behaviors this can be really tough — I know, I’ve been there! If I was starting over, there are 2 things I would priorities — self-understanding and creating a support network. It’s really worth investing in getting to know what makes you tick. This isn’t about comparing yourself to others but about truly understanding the value you bring and accepting what you need to function and grow as the best version of yourself.
Feeling different to everyone else can be a lonely experience, and it’s tough if you believe you are the ‘odd one out’. Many people I work with tell me that they have ‘masqueraded’ as an extravert for a long time and wish they had had someone to talk to earlier in their career. I really encourage introverts to share their experiences with their colleagues — you’ll be amazed at the number of people who thank you for taking the first step in opening the conversation. If you’re part of a larger organization you may have access to mentors or an ERG to support you. If not, find out what’s possible and consider setting something up to support you and others like you.
Have you noticed any specific ways that being an introvert affects mental health or overall well-being? Any tips for introverts to maintain good mental health?
There’s no evidence that introverts have better or worse mental health than extraverts, however as an introvert it is vital that you take care of your energy. Planning time in your diary to recharge alone is vital. I also recommend you plan your low-key social time too — after all we are not hermits! Everyone needs some social time with others, how much will depend on the individual. Cancel plans with others and decline invites when you need to. I advocate for explaining the true reason and not making up a story — let’s normalize doing less!
I often get asked about burnout. Again there is no evidence that introverts have more or less episodes of burnout than extraverts. One major cause of burnout is unmanaged workplace stress, generally related to the environment and systems in which we work. Burnout usually builds over a long period of time, so if you are noticing that you feel stressed on more days than not, consider reaching out to a professional or someone in your support network to start a conversation about how you are feeling.
In your opinion, are societal views on introversion changing? If so, how do you think this impacts introverts positively or negatively? Can you please explain what you mean?
I think there is now a much bigger awareness of introversion, however there are still a lot of misconceptions and myths out there. In many areas there’s still an assumption that introverts are all stereotyped shy, geeky, hermit. Overall the growing conversation about diversity has helped to shed light on the value of understanding and leveraging our differences, yet inclusion is still a major barrier. It’s great to know and appreciate the introverts on your team, but how do you include them in a way that enables them to thrive at work? This is everyone’s responsibility, not just introverts, and not only their managers, but everyone collectively.
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?
“In a gentle way you can shake the world” — Mahatma Ghandi
I used this as an epigraph for the first chapter of my book as it is so important to me. So much of what I learned in my life and career led me to believe that to be successful and to have an impact, I needed to be forceful and loud. I find the reverse is actually true for me. In those moments where I am calm and considered in my approach, I find my greatest strength and courage to achieve things that have a positive impact for those around me.
You are a person of great influence. If you could start a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂
I would start a movement that ensures every child, regardless of their background, has access to quality education. As an introvert, I’ve come to appreciate how much of our growth comes from introspection and the ability to understand ourselves. I believe that teaching children to embrace their unique strengths, whether they’re introverted or extroverted, can set them on a path to thrive in life. Education should not only be about facts and figures but also about fostering self-awareness, building self-esteem, and providing positive role models. When we equip children with the tools to understand themselves and the world, we open the door to solving the social, political, and environmental challenges that face us today.
How can our readers further follow your work online?
You will find me at https://www.linkedin.com/in/sarahmanleytqc/ , https://www.instagram.com/thequietcatalyst/ and https://www.thequietcatalyst.com
Thank you so much for sharing these important insights. We wish you continued success and good health!
Thriving As An Introvert: Sarah Manley On How Introverts Can Thrive & Succeed In A Society That… was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.